I couldn't tell you exactly when I made this song only that it's at minimum thirteen years old. Recorded in the basement of a house on the corner of Brooklyn and Avenue D. Everyone who was privy to a listen over the years basically said the same thing immediately after hearing. "Release it!" It's infectious. 

After making poetry and Hip-hop records for a solid decade I started to gravitate away from those genres sonically as I had a desire to express different emotions and flush out new identities. It's natural for me to shift in ten year intervals. I started my first set of locs in 2000 and cut them in 2010. A Scorpio, especially one with multiple chart placements typically is a purposefully transformational being. I'm not statisfied with doing the same thing over and over. For me change and exploration is essential. It applies not only to art and creativity but to my life in general. It's part of the reason I'm so highly engaged online and off. Making friends and forging Community. Growing and evolving with every connection. Everyone is my sensei. 

Enjoy the track. Ask me anything about it. 

I got a monkey on my shoulder,

His name is Habit, I gotta kick’em

Tall glass, vinegar

Wash it down, flood the town.

I got a monkey on my shoulder,

His name is Habit, I gotta kick’em

Tall glass, vinegar

Wash it down, flood the town.

Well I don’t know about opposable thumbs, but I need you to hold this glass for me.

I’ll never judge you for whatever you’ve done, but it all come back to you gradually.

Unqualified for all the races we’ve won, but even still end up placin’ actually.

I wasn’t the one who shot the gun, sober up you’ll know what’s happenin’.

I got a monkey on my shoulder,

His name is Habit, I gotta kick’em

Tall glass, vinegar

Wash it down, flood the town.

I got a monkey on my shoulder,

His name is Habit, I gotta kick’em

Tall glass, vinegar

Wash it down, flood the town.

Y’sterday’s Motorvation is today’s fuel to kick the habits that impede progress. Never shun addiction nor those addicted, for much can be learned even from one’s darkest moments. There are no mistakes, just opportunities for improvement.

One of the things I recognize about a lot of artists who are having a hard time online attempting to promote 🎶 is they're just not good at telling ppl about their music. Similar to visual artists, painters or what have you. A lot of y'all just throw a link out there and you don't make ppl interested. I know it's not easy to market the s*** you're doing and there aren't a lot of great examples. Be as creative telling ppl about your art as you were in making it. Start a conversation around it.

You can do basic stuff like quote yourself. If your lyrics are compelling enough your words will spark attention. 

More importantly, how do you get ppl involved in the conversation online in general? You don't make it about yourself. You ask a question. Why? Because ppl want to talk, really. Pretty much the reason why the majority of folks are on social media is because they want to be heard. It's the reason there's so much noise. No filter. Ppl have a desire to speak here because offline ppl don't feel they have a voice.

Back when social media was still organic and Twitter was the place where everything was happening, I came up with the hashtag #iunmask (you can still search it) in promotion of a project. Years later I would return to the same timeline to refresh awareness about said project. 

You can use the internet the way we used to use the internet. Well I used the internet fully. But all I'm saying is be more creative, think about how to have conversations and also think about the audience more so than you. Think about sharing with people a real conversation about a real thing or something f****** silly. 

At the end of the day it's up to you to figure out how to make a better connection with people in a real way. Most people promoting come off as an annoying advertisements and get ignored.

Sometimes instead of an interview I rather let an artist directly speak on work of theirs I've discovered scrolling online. Work I feel is remarkable to share here on AG TrapHaus. I love when I can ask an artist to tell me about a piece and they shoot me a paragraph in record time. Introducing Sydney Teare and her colorful Woman-creature series of mixed media creations.

"My Woman-creature series is a mixed-media venture into ideas about femininity and womanhood that I’ve been exploring in larger acrylic paintings (Stuck, Unveiling, and Maddie Wearing Lipstick.) So far, it features three canvases adorned with pieces of my own clothing to create “skirts” with multiple legs protruding underneath. The colors of the canvases are reminiscent of the paint I and many other girls had on our bedroom walls growing up. I like to think of each piece as its own “creature,” a woman with her own experiences and feelings. Each of the legs are cut from magazines, advertisements, and books that I find, which helps me contextualize the lives of the creatures I’m creating: one leg from a woman advertising pricy heels that cause her to stumble and limp, another from a girl in a news story running a marathon, another from an old cracked antique baby doll, and so on. I love working with found imagery because the medium itself opens up interesting lines of thought—what does it mean to have whole industries dedicated to disseminating images of women, and what do the types of women we portray and how we portray them say about us? It’s satisfying to be able to pick and choose specific parts of these pictures and rearrange them in ways that create new meanings. I intend to keep exploring these ideas for a long time, because humans will continue to be depicted in photos and in art, and I think those images are some of the best records of how we feel about and treat other human beings."

Woman-creature 1
5"x7" Magazine clippings and acrylic on canvas

Woman-creature 2 

4"x12" Magazine clippings and acrylic on canvas

Woman-creature 3 

5"x7" Magazine clippings and acrylic on canvas

sydneyteare.wixsite.com/sydneyteare

I've been asking artists who are fascinated with skulls why they are so and what their relationships are with them. On this occassion a Denver artist who goes by the name Fuzzy shares her skull story and some deeply heavy human experiences. 

C. What is your relationship and or connection to skulls?

Fuzzy: I think my relationship to skulls is in a broader sense my relationship with death. A skull is an instant symbol, but also a natural one- when we look at a human skull, we know that once there was a face there, behind the face a brain, the skull so easily represents a human in their most basic and pure form. Animal or human, when I look at a skull I see nature, I see inevitability, I see my own future but not in some foreboding way. Rather, that future very simply comes for all of us and is there to remind us to live this one life fully.

C. Can you tell us about your elephant Man piece and why you chose it as a subject? 

Fuzzy: With the Elephant Man piece, his (John Merrick) story is so compelling. Here was a man born into a circumstance during a time where no one understood it, and it made him a sideshow freak. Even after being brought in by Dr. Treves, he was still on display, but then for high society rather than carnival attendees. Now, in death he is still on display, his skeleton carefully preserved in a museum. When I painted his skull, I tried to do it with tenderness, using photographs to explore each divot and outgrowth of bone. I wanted to show this skull as a beautiful object, the way I viewed it.

C. On threads you mentioned future plans to have an illustration of a panther skull tattooed. (It's only recently dawned on me to get a skull tattoo as well.) Do you have other tattoos? What's special about this tat you plan on getting? Is there a story?

Fuzzy: I have several tattoos, each with a story or reason (I except the flash on my legs, those are just fun). The drawing I’d done of a panther skull I may or may not still get, as I ended up getting a similar piece on my legs. Basically, the idea was to have this skull with sunflowers on either side, the skull representing me (I think a lot of women do have feline energies), and the sunflowers representing my youngest child who has passed away (it was his favorite flower). What I ended up getting instead was the portrait of a lioness with the sunflower beside her on my calf. I think I leaned away from skull imagery simply because there has been enough death in my close life- first my dad, then the next year my son, and my mom passing away a few years ago. I was present for all three of them, my folks in a hospital from sudden illness and my son at home from suicide. Now, I respect death, I still hold a reverence for the imagery such as skulls, love the art depicting them, but I am trying to lean into whatever life I have left and celebrate it.

You can learn more about Fuzzy, her partner and their creations at frankfacestudio.com

While I've yet to fully detail what it is, after two years of activating SMUDGE. online and off I decided to start asking people what SMUDGE. is to them.

I posed the query to artist ATMC and he shared the following:

"SMUDGE. is a simple reminder. The word itself represents cleansing, renewal, and a constant protection I have sometimes felt undeserving of. Skulls are portrayed as a symbol of death, and that is often misconstrued in a negative light. The cycle of life & death reminds us as humans that we are equal in that inevitability. We cannot avoid it.

This particular piece resonated with me, because I have gone through near-death experiences. I have seen how precious life is, and the importance of holding on to it, protecting it, and changing. What others see as an omen, I find strength in. A reminder to change what I can, not focus on what I cannot change. This is why SMUDGE. is a significant piece of art, a movement.

The series thus far, drenched in symbolism, rewrites what we thought we knew. It’s always skulls, transformative and provocative. I have watched it evolve throughout the years since its inception, and every time I see the words, I am reminded about the journey of life. To learn, to love, to hold, to fight, to protect, and simply live. Fully experience life and everything that comes with it."

To discover more about ATMC visit https://atmcmusic.co/

One of the prime benefits of having internet connectivity (if you choose to use it joyfully and productively over doom-scrolling, posting rage bait or arguing with mostly bots) is the opportunity to find countless intriguing human beings. Some create beautiful, challenging art and even write about it; imagine that. In this episode of C. somehow convinced an art friend to respond to my curiosity in brief interview format, I introduce you to Maria Alekseev, a dealer in Figurative Surrealism, whose work profoundly manifests in forms of paintings, intaglio and assemblage to name a few mediums. 

Okay then. Welcome to the OpticVoid.

C. Thinking on how much thought and intent goes into your pieces I’m curious as to the name OpticVoid. Where does it come from? What does it mean? 

Maria Alekseev: There’s always a certain amount of prejudgment that comes along with interpreting one’s given name, so for a while I decided to go with something unique. I created OpticVoid through my desire to take command of the empty spaces’ others are too afraid to explore within their artwork. It reflects the deeper depths of emotion, filled with visuals both familiar and unfamiliar, often a bit uncomfortable. But recently, I’ve been returning to using my given name because, unfortunately, the professional field has so many rules one must follow to participate.

C. Writing about your process and all the thoughts you have which you choose to share seems to be an important part of your art life. Honestly, I appreciate it immensely and I’m sure there are many others who do as well. Context matters to me at least, especially when engaging art digitally. Where is writing positioned within the venn diagram of your art journey? How does it benefit your practice?

Maria Alekseev: The writing is mostly for me. It serves as a chronological marker, a bookmark for my memories. I have a lot of health issues that have caused a significant impact on my memory and created chronic stress. As a result, my mind often feels chaotic, fragmented, and cloudy, so I try to write as much as I can about each painting or piece I create.

I also have a lot of anxiety, so writing helps me process it. It serves as a reference for my contemplations and a reminder of why I feel the way I do. I’m not going to omit the fact that I think about death often and want there to be written documentation of my work, so there isn’t a critic trying to decipher my personal intentions.

C. Your work embodies a full range of emotion externalizing varied sets of subtle to intense energies. Very paradoxical as pieces can exhibit melancholy, deep pain and sadness while whimsy, curiosity and in some cases optimism is present. A feeling of deep contemplation or an attempt to make sense of both the external world and your internal mechanisms is my experience when viewing. These are my thoughts at least. What say you?

Maria Alekseev: Wow, you did an amazing job articulating that, you’re pretty spot on. I tend to sit in a deep state of darkness where things feel enigmatic, sad, and chaotic. My life has come with what feels like a non-stop chain of challenges, pain, and physical illness. I spend a lot of time reflecting on my life experiences and circumstances to better understand myself, often going deeper than I probably should.

My curiosity is a big driver in dissecting my thoughts, and memory loss is the other. I’m not quite sure how much of that loss is from stress, age, or the neurological movement disorder that affects my whole body. My mind often feels like it skips and fragments my thoughts, it deletes memories, leaving what feels like blank spaces I can never get back. This sometimes causes my artwork to feel jumbled or unresolved.

The whimsy often refers to positive memories or things I find interesting; it’s a way to take control of the bigger picture and allow myself to “come up for air.” It reminds me that I do have hope at times mostly because of my love for my husband which creates a glimmer of light, a sense of happiness, and an optimism for a better life someday.

To further investigate Maria Alekseev’s works, words and support her practice you can visit the following links:

Website - opticvoid.com

Substack - opticvoid.substack.com

Patreon - patreon.com/opticvoidnyc

If you’re intrigued and moved even an inkling by this post please SHARE it. Invite more people to this community of art lovers we’re building. 

Maria's works in order of appearance:

The Icon [Colors of Chaos] 2025, 36″x24″ Acrylic, watercolor, oil pastel, found objects

Untitled work. 2009, 6 x 6 in. Multiple plate intaglio etching

Altered Balance [Acid Circus series] 2022, 2″ x 2.5″ Intaglio etching on paper in bespoke frame

Surrender + Make Magic [Sin + Magic series] 2023, 11 x 14 in. Acrylic & watercolor over found image, paper

Unbound By You [Sin + Magic series] 2023, 11 x 14 in. Acrylic & watercolor over found image, paper

Deliver Us From Evil 2024, 11 x 7 x 4 in. Shadowbox, intaglio, clay, found objects

Lillian Bassman, Solarized Fashion Study (ca. 1960). The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, Gift of Lizzie and Eric Himmel. © Estate of Lillian Bassman.

Lillian Bassman, Variant of The Yellow Smock Coat (1950). Gelatin silver print with applied media. The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, Gift of Lizzie and Eric Himmel. © Estate of Lillian Bassman.

Junior Bazaar, January 1947. Design by Lillian Bassman and Alexey Brodovitch, featuring a photograph by Ernst Beadle. Collection of Vince Aletti. Courtesy of Harper’s BAZAAR/Hearst Magazine Media, Inc.

Lillian Bassman and Rouben Samberg, “Vocabulary of Courage,” 1944. Courtesy of The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Gift of Lizzie and Eric Himmel, 2025.

Lillian Bassman, Variant of Lighter Girdles, Rounder Curves (1948). The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, Gift of Lizzie and Eric Himmel. © Estate of Lillian Bassman.