I've been doing this photography gig for over a year now and it's apparantly serving the great purpose of having me revisit pivitol moments of my life. Seems every assignment takes me on a tour of a part of the city I have some sort of history in or a specificially direct connection to. In some cases a big moment happened close to where I'm assigned to shoot. Case in point, the photo above is one which sparks a great memory from when I was performing in my early twenties. After this poetry and music show held in an unconventional space in the city we were invited to have dinner at Cafeteria. It was the first time I can remember sharing food with people I wasn't friend or family with. This act alone definitely had a positive affect on me as a young person and the experience of community would be a precursuor of events to come as ultimately I'd become a connector of people, enjoying curation of both public and private gatherings feeding people. 

From primordial soup soaks to infinite expansion of mind and thensome, I've spent the better part of a month on the edge of suffering with faint moments of peace.

Today my body aches less than yesterday. Wasn't so much a struggle to move about, still it was not comfortable at all in route in the AM to errand for a handful of items to aid my healing. Being unwell is not something I often experience and I surely do no enjoy, especially when it involves both my mind and body. 

Returned to Brooklyn after a week north. Grateful for the opportunity to be hours from the city I've grown weary of, even moreso in the last few years, hindered by my weakened state of health; I did not fully enjoy my opportunity in a small town just outside of Kingston. 

I couldn't be inside last night. Mind on the cusp of possible rage, I walked near a mile and a half then bought a ticket to the film Opus. I sat in the center at the very back of the theater in seat number seven. I figured at least I could get lost in a story odder than my current life's position, none of which I'll recount in this post as the matters matter not at all. I am not here to pen The Iliad, The Odyssey or my version of A Course in Miracles.

A film I felt was the healthiest distraction or coping mechanism to reach for. 

I've been returning to the Oracle prompt of 'Cut Ties' deliberating iteratively on what exactly needs to be cut for some time. Surface cuts proved surely not enough as I have been in surgery at this point for over two years - at least consciously. And as you're likely aware, I am no surgeon.

I'm a few steps away from a silence vow. I removed all but one social media app from my phone. I've been unfollowing and removing followers on IG and recalibrating my YouTube algorithm by viewing videos of the ancient method of Kimchi making to homesteading and tips on the best places in the states to live off-grid. 

We'll stop here for now. I'm out of characters for today.

C.

This is what C.ommunity looks like for C. IRL. A still from an 80's sitcom.

Photo is from my 2021 six day solo art show hosted in a vacant Bedstuy apartment where I hung sixty-two pieces of art and frabricated an instillation inside a bedroom closet. The show spanned two rooms. Viewings were by appointment and private. Closing was open to the public with bubbles and an art chat. I've been creating all types of experiences for over two decades and this is and will always be one of the most memorable.

So, when's C.'s next show? Honestly, I have no idea. Last couple years have altered my energy around a lot in my life. The one thing I've never anticipated is my desire to make art being disrupted nor my enthusiasm for hosting events and connecting with people being in question. Not feeling like creating art or even caring to share it for C. is a scary place. Thing is, Art won't leave me alone. And of course I won't leave it either.

Photos like the one above keep me tethered to the reality of what I've accomplished throughout the years. The communities I've built from scratch, the lives I've affected and the people who've added to mine. 

Each day a new challenge seems to arrive which I should invite because otherwise this shit would be boring. Still, even C. needs a break from time to time. 

Rest is important folks. Introspection and self assessment is essential. Time to breathe and do nothing is just as important. 

I have to remind myself at this leg of the journey about the necessity of pause moments. The ones which have kept me balanced over many years. For me in retrospect, I realize how these moments have kept me sane. Now it's time to lean deeply into one and truly recover so when the frost fades and warmth has returned to this city, I'll be prepared in the most healthy way to continue on path sharing my life as art.

C. the Rich artist